#2 – Parental Feedback

“Why didn’t you get 100?,” my mother routinely asks.

From young, we’re taught to categorize things and awarded with smiley faces or stickers. {Apple, banana, mango} … Fruits? Yes. {Fish, donkey, pig} … Animaux? Oui. And then born were stereotypes. We each live with it in our own ways, for some they enjoy the perks, for others, it is a task and even sometimes, life threatening.

My little brother excitedly tells me that he got an A on his last science project. Of course, I congratulate him and let him bask in his glory…for 1, 2, 3 seconds; time’s up. “So,” I ask him, “You’re finally studying? This is new.” He replies, “Yeah, I’m trying to be Asian.”

Sometimes we just live to fulfill our stereotypes. I mean, if that’s what people believe, why go through all the trouble to prove them wrong. You like science? How about math? Typical.

The role of the parent is a dominant factor shaping a vulnerable child’s own expectations of him or herself. It’s true that some parents aren’t too concerned about topping the class, but merely making it to the next grade. I am not accustomed to such thoughts. Preposterous!

To the Asian parent, there is only one grade possible. All others are prone to lashing; be it verbal or physical (I’m kidding…). It appears that this species of parents are not well informed on the grading scale. The extent of their mentality allows for only a system filled of a discontinuous relationship between performance and grades. It looks a little like this:

“Mom, I got an A!”

“What A?”

“I got an 85 on my last paper!”

“Who says that is an A?”

“Uh, the school?”

“So are you telling me that you didn’t study? What is this 15% error I’m hearing about? I will tell you father.”

Gulp.